A strong woman

this is very inspiring I have been disfigured permanently by a dangerous psych med I was tied down and forced to take because I was in my husband's cheating way...there no regaining what has been stolen from me.

You are strong too Crim. You are a survivor. Maybe you are right. Maybe you can't get back what was stolen but that does not mean you cannot acquire new things. The past is gone and none of us can change it. But we must keep our focus in front of us. It is there that we will find what we seek. A focus on the past will keep us trapped there to forever dwell in the pain and torment because that will never change. The past will never change. It is energy wasted. Energy better used on the present, which we do have control over.

how do I love a new family when I invested my whole adult life with someone who just used me after all where does my broken heart go with no home...

I wouldn't start there Crim. Id start with loving yourself first. It has to begin with you. You are worth love. You deserve love. You must believe that in order to manifest it.

I have loved honestly and openly thinking someone would return it just a little bit... the best I've encountered are strangers who stumbled on me again and remembered my kindness to them...the world has been unkind to me I don't trust myself not to choose a worse sort of predator if that is possible.

And that is where your focus needs to be. On crimsin. Every journey must start with the first step and then we continue to put one foot in front of the other. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Set small goals which will not seem so daunting. You are in a fucked up situation still and you are jumping ahead to a new family already. Of course from where you at now it seems out of reach. One step at a time. We cannot jump straight to the finish line. If you read what you are writing to me here you will see where your focus needs to be. Letting go of the pasr. Working in loving yourself. Working on being able to trust yourself to make good decisions for you. Set goals and work towards those goals. Imdividual goals. Not an end goal before you have even started.

my mind and looks are pemantely damaged by a Japanese psych drug called abilify that I was forced to take by iv being tied down after my husband lied to the sheriffs about me starting a fire he lit to get rid of me so he could cheat he is culpable for altering my brain so is the pharmaceutical company who hid this information from the public when I was so brutally handled in 2008. I have no hopes for love now.

I'm sorry for what happened to you crim. I truly am. I am not trying to downplay or make light of your living nightmare.  

Perspective -> Perception -> Reality

Fight for Crimsin as hard as you fought for people who were unworthy of you.