Disappearance

9/30      
     
Sunday night,      
desperate for sleep,      
I pushed you away      
when you crawled up      
and tried to sleep      
between my thighs      
     
I am old, sweet cat,      
your weight obstructs      
the flow of blood      
I turned this way, that,      
and drifted off--      
Did I, perhaps, leave you offended?      
     
You awoke at first light      
demanding I open the kitty door      
and off you went      
all gray stealth of smoke      
disappearing into the hazy day,      
     
the day of the eclipse      
the day my first cat      
April 823 came into my life      
a year ago this very day--      
and also disappeared      
three months later.      
     
So where the hell are you?      
Did you run away from home,  
Miss Behavin'? You misbehavin' again?  
As Fats Waller plays along  
in my head.  
     
The last time you were gone      
six days without food, water,      
locked in the shed      
you had surreptitiously followed      
my caretaker in      
and ignored her when      
she left and locked you in.      
     
Already I have gone out      
looking for you, naughty girl,      
asked the hired-hand      
if he had gone into      
any of the buildings with doors      
which could have trapped you inside.      
     
But no,      
she'll come back, he said,      
unconcerned,      
They always do      
     
And I turned away      
thinking of coyotes, owls      
and April 823      
     
who never did.