(36) Neverending Euphoria 03.14.2019 @ 4:02pm)

Inhaling narcotics off the sack.
Hauling ass, scoring xanax.
Anything to escape suicidal tendencies.
I’m an alcoholic with drug dependencies.

Stormy nights, windy days.
Igniting my “last cigarette” today.
It felt like nine eleven when I relapsed.
My lungs have already collapsed.

I’ve been released back to the streets.
On my own recognizance, writing to beats.
My debts led me towards consequences.
Felonies after felonies, serious offenses.

Thousands of miles until I get back home.
Meanwhile I’m taking this blunt to the dome.
I’m speeding & asking God for a way out.
Just know I keep my head up, no doubt.

Lonely & crying, I’m stressed.
I tend to forget that I’m blessed.
Questioning myself while I’m red lining.
Meanwhile these demons start reclining.

I’ve inhabited a cold dark world.
Violence, greed, betrayal & hatred, I’m about to hurl.
Much like these white bars, these souls are toxic.
Portraying negative vibes & emotional bullshit.
 



Youth days were different, scary.
No funerals, no one to bury.
Time flies, who do we blame?
Time’s are rough, keep a steady aim.

Galaxy stars roaming, killing any sunlight.
Intoxication occurs & I’m taking flight.
Countless paraphernalia loaded with narcotics.
Xanax capsules & chopped lines for this addict.

In a constant haze, dwelling away.
I left myself speechless yesterday.
Face numb, jaw locked & eyes shut.
She’s on all four like a fucking slut.

It’s an everlasting cycle;
Cravings that will never satisfy this psycho.
Sinful grins & synthetic smiles.
Inside my lair snorting lines by the mile!

Like my debt, I got tons of questions.
No answers, only suggestions.
I’m misunderstood, I’m acting like a fool.
Why apoligize for doing what I do?

My body is getting weaker, I’m not fine.
I’m drunk, high & I need another line.
I can’t make moves off nickels and dimes.
I’m hustling until death says it’s time.




I never expect to see tomorrow.
So I light one up & conquer my sorrow.
There’s not much else to say;
I replaced my friends for bottomless pay.

I’m intoxicated on a daily basis.
I’m never dry, plenty oasis.
It’s a life I embrace.
There’s a void beyond the surface.

Monday morning sets in;
My conscious burns within.
Faith slithering down the drain.
Deadly dose, sugarcoating my pain.

I’m really high, I’m losing it.
Candles remain lit.
Love is gone; Eternally.
I’m an empty vase, internally.

My temper goes off like a C4.
My destructive ways lead me to steel doors.
Probation & parole, tough situations.
Nevertheless, I’m aiming for intoxication.

This is my life, waking up high.
Going to sleep, trying to survive.
Contemplating what I’ll take next,
Perhaps another 6mg of xanax.