Me? Why me?

I will never understand unconditional love,
 and that fact wounds me.

It will always cause me to shake and topple when the idea,
 even for a second,
 pops into my head,
 that someone who has spent so much time with me,
  stupid, greedy, worthless, terrible, me,
 could still sit down at the end of the day,
 with the thought,

  "Hey, I love that person."


And maybe,
 maybe that still means I have growing to do.


I hope there's a day where,
 when I see the child in the mirror,
 I don't scream
 
 "Bad! Bad! Bad!"


Maybe instead,
 I will fall to my knees,
 hold out my arms,
 and say,

  "I'm so sorry."