3 seconds of thought

wisdom?
no i am not she.

that was dumb, why did i do that?
they know i’m stupid now.

that was rude, why did i say that?
that probably hurt their feelings.

i have been so much for so many,
do i have to be wise?
must i be friend?
can i be lover?
will i be successful?
am i perfect?

goodnight.

each wake i savor the seconds of pure me,
when i am nothing and only myself!

then i hear it all.
mouths around me yelling, screaming, crying, laughing.
they are hungry. ravenous.
and i can’t feed them,
am i meant to?

i hold this facade because i believe that the surface beneath will crumble under the weight of these expectations.

this isn’t real.
this isn’t wisdom, just self awareness.