deepundergroundpoetry.com
Daze
I’ve triggered a daze
At least in my vocabulary
That’s what I’ve chosen to call it
Because dissociative depersonalization-derealization disorder
Really doesn’t have the same ring to it
Have you ever read a paragraph but
Realized afterwards you didn’t absorb any of the information from the words?
So you went back and tried again
And maybe this time implemented more focus
That’s what my days have become
Unfortunately time can not be reread more carefully
And my daze steals days again
All because I’ve written about the days my daze first began
And in looking back I face a conundrum
I wonder if my current daze is in the same
Wavelength as my past one
If my mind is taken to the same place
As she was
Or if this daze is far away from the long ago haze
My past self spent years inside
And if I will find myself closer or farther
To her the more I lean into this foggy
Existential dream like world that mimics reality
Is it the same one where she dwelled?
Letting myself slip back there feels like hell
I’ve finally made a safe place for myself
And thought that I could now take the time
To mend all of the pushed down, shoved out, ugly, maddening, atrocious feelings
But then the daze came with them
And I’ve already given so many days to the daze
My own mind doesn’t believe it has the capacity to process my pain
Without feeling this way
And there’s this glaze over my eyes
That looks upon the haven I’ve created
And tells me it isn’t mine
I guess I’ll begin again
*Take a deep breathe*
At the first line
Published 7th Mar 2024
Author's Note
DPDR
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
7th Mar 2024 7:19am
Dear I,
I can relate to the disconnects in life throughout this write. That fuzzy headed feeling of trying to make sense of things. The closing line in remembering to breathe is such a helpful reminder. It’s cleansing (as well as life saving 😊)
Difficult subject, great write. H🌷
I can relate to the disconnects in life throughout this write. That fuzzy headed feeling of trying to make sense of things. The closing line in remembering to breathe is such a helpful reminder. It’s cleansing (as well as life saving 😊)
Difficult subject, great write. H🌷
