Details of my Suicide

My soul's about to crater    
After work Friday night    
I will be judged by my creator      
My ending finally in sight    
Me, yes I am at peace    
Knowing the end is near    
My lifes nightmare will soon cease    
As I exhale my final fear    
It's the perfect time    
My family and friends away    
If a broken heart's a crime    
Then I've been punished everyday    
Jot down some quick thoughts    
For one last goodbye      
I learned what you taught    
And I now understand why    
Everything will soon be better    
When I'm no longer around    
The details in my other letter    
You turned my world upside down    
From my exhaust to my car    
I ran a small hose    
Death is not too far    
My carbon dioxide overdose    
All the windows I did seal    
So air cannot escape    
This is the only way to heal    
I wonder how long it'll take    
A void, an abyss, constant dark    
Echoes the emptiness of how I feel    
On me a bullseye death did mark    
The fate my nemesis sealed    
Slowly I turned the key    
I guess all I do now is wait    
It is what it has to be      
My judgement of predetermined fate    
And all I ever ask of you    
With this my final request    
With your heart please be true      
And make sure your love is expressed    
Sorry things ended this way    
Not what you deserve    
But what else did I have to say    
To show my damage and my hurt    
This pain that you caused me    
That made me feel withdrawn    
Was a life changing reality    
And like that my world was gone    
Maybe if i knew or could tell    
That i meant anything to you    
I wouldn't have been in this hell    
Debating on what next to do    
What did you think we were    
What else did I need to be    
Feels like we became a blur    
Or your secondary plan of me    
But what's done is done    
Those memories have passed    
No longer will i be one    
Juat a prisioner of this death gas    
It's been awhile I'm still fine    
But maybe kind of confused    
Thoughts running through my mind    
Wow, was I just being used    
Sitting here and thinking      
Should I even go through with this    
Three beers so far I've been drinking    
Haunted by our first kiss    
Do I want to live or die    
The answers I don't have      
I'm not sure I even know why    
I still feel and hear your laugh    
I can still change my mind    
And no one will know I tried    
In five days my body will they find    
Can I hide this attempted suicide      
Will my letter explain it all    
There's more than meets the eye    
No one caught me when I started to fall    
This decision I made I had to try      
Slowly creeping I feel tired    
I'm choking on my breath    
Lived my life uninspired      
I think I may be at half death    
I'm starting to feel cold and numb    
My eyes all smokey in the rear view      
Was the decision reactionary and dumb    
Or just controlling thoughts for a few    
Moments, it's getting harder to write    
I'm about to close my eyes    
A sick and twisted good night    
Finally exposed my life of lies    
Absolutely      
I am none    
Just move on    
Almost gone    
This choice is so wrong      
I'm choking    
My skin is crawling    
Eyes watering    
Death is here    
It's calling    
I answered    
I'm d