(21) Apologetic thoughts 12.06.23 @ 3:10am

Alone in thought, aren’t we all?
Nobody knows what crosses my mind.
Reminiscing years ago, tears she shed.
By my side she stood, she’s gone now.

I’ve hurt you all, it was never my intention.
Rage takes the best of anybody.
Apologizing won’t fix broken mirrors & promises.
Many years ago, it all comes back when I get high.

I want to apologize for the wrong I’ve done.
Apologies for the pain and misery.
Broken apologies won’t patch up a wound.
Meaningless words can’t fix what’s broken.

For all that’s happened, I want to apologize;
I regret what I’ve done and the hurtful things I’ve said.
To all my loved ones, please forgive this spirit.
My guilt is for all eternity, I have no choice in the matter.

Forgiveness is out of the question, I cause them pain.
Growing up a disgrace, I turned out to be.
I am the source to their painful memories.
Strong we must remain, grow up we must.

Tomorrow awaits as I slowly fade away today.
Toxic peasants lurking near us once more.
Breaking down mental walls from illicit substances.
This lifestyle will hurt you spiritually & mentally.

Love died for us back in ‘14, since grandma left.
One more in the ground, we’ll be there soon.
Departing is never easy but we have ways to cope.
Eventually, we’ll make it through.

Make the best of it while you’re here.
Release your resentment & forgive while they’re still alive.
Let the tears dry and sorrows be forgotten.
To be reborn in spirit, shall we fight towards.

Future in consideration, drug consumption meanwhile.
I’m not destined to the streets.
Lost on route, I’m enjoying the journey.
Times like these guarantees someday I’ll be free.

Through it all;
I’m doing time behind painful words of the past.
She curses the day she breeds my shameless corpse.
The past we cannot dwell on.

Imagine that?
I had it coming, I took it as the truth.
Through it all, solitary life is all I’ve known.
Isolation is the air that surrounds us.

Hallucinating shadows, we’re not alone nor free.
Unaware of what lies ahead of time.
Time is the enemy but reveals all.
Who are you? Who am I? What is life?

Explain the purpose of everyday existence.
Destiny’s bleak for the time being.
Identity is unknown to oneself and those around them.
Aren’t we just barcodes and serial numbers?

Let’s keep everyone satisfied with a smile.
Let’s just sugarcoat everything.
Let’s just pretend we’re a big happy family.
After all, broken apologies won’t patch up a wound.