When I'm all Grown...

When I'm all grown up and a dotty Aunt
I'll not swig bottles of cough medicine,    
nor smell of wee or camphor balls I shan't    
read Woman's Own nor Lady magazine...    
    
For the nephews I shall buy stink-bomb kits    
as prezzies, nieces shall get bad ass drums,  
and I'll teach all how to cuss, hit and kick    
their way through life and not be, the sad ones.    
    
The nephews shall squire me to the ball    
and introduce me to elderly gents,    
with nieces I'll pillow fight and we'll fall    
for boys, then suffer that sweet lovesick angst.    
    
When I'm all grown and an Aunt, hell will freeze    
And falling in and out of love, a breeze...