just feelin' it

 
sprawled as is my custom
face down
stretched across rumpled sheets
breasts pressed into the bed
legs bent at the knees
ankles crossed
arms folded under my head
I let myself settle
sinking into thought
triaging my spirit with self-reflection
trying to determine the healthiest direction
the heart yearns but the mind knows better
nothing will stick if they don't work together
and I shift
lifting myself up on my elbows
stirred by memories of my current position
I flinch
turn over on my back & stare at the ceiling
with its cracks & stains
I feel quite the same
a bit weathered at the seams
but still holding my place
missing strong arms to make me feel sheltered
I sigh
wrapping my own hands around my waist
recognizing I'm lonely
making no move to improve my mood
I'm allowed to be a little broken
I've got a bottle of glue
tomorrow I'll start reassembling the pieces
tonight is made of cut crystal contemplation
many faceted in their shining revelation
it's enough to lay in the embrace of pain
remember what was
what is
and reflect on what may be
another day