Momma Flashbang Hand Granade Part 1

Momma flashbang hand granade
What pills did you eat today
Whole bottle to take away your pain
Living in your filth and shame
Doctors orders, yet everyone else is to blame
Bought the tombstone, flower left the arrange
Electric currents to change your brain
Flash cards to remind you of how you became
Lost in a chemical haze with no way to escape
Torn from limb to limb
Never your fault when you are broken within
Unreal tears turn hours into years
Diluted self pity and prescriptions are your party favors
Keeping problems from the past pushed to the back
Days run together numb to existences
The life you live has no pride
Spiraling out of control hoping you just die
While the government pays for your life
No worries so why do you cry
Unable to love yourself or the ones who stand by your side
I watch your memories eat you alive
Cause moving on leaves you overwhelmed
Day after day cleaning up your blood
The very sight of you defines disgust
Can't blame me, it's you that gave up
Only hope I have is you travel fast to he'll
Leaving the house without a smell
Maybe I can cover it up with pine-sol
Why take the blade to your wrist
It's just another thing unaccomplished
Prolonged much longer
I debate committing a murder
End your life of miseries and bury you under a tree
End all the drama and justify it with karma
Your letters of goodbyes shatter my insides
No love for me is clearly explained
My existence troubles your life
Put pen to paper before swinging from the rafters
Leaving me torn and tattered
Cutting you down while blood drips from your forearms
If I let you do this I will become unglued
Knowing I allowed you to make your own rules
While I am placed with all the blame
You can't take the easy way out while I am made to listen to your screams and shouts
Things I could of done to change your outcome
No one will ever be goof enough
Live and understanding never shown
I am left wandering an empty soul
Where there was a heart is now a hole
You explosion effects all those close
Evil instance singing a hateful hum
6 feet under your words won't hurt
A sigh of relief as you are coveted with dirt
Tears won't fall cause you no longer hurt
Gave up on God's plan and held the devils hand
It's secretly what you wanted all along
Now I can learn to live myself
Deal with emotions I never felt
Thankfully you found the courage
Cause now my life can flourish
Gave me a gift you could only give in death
I can handle life's twists without your detriment
You have taught me how to survive
For that I will keep your memory alive
I'll always remember life isn't kind but now I can shine
Time has gone on and life can overwhelm
My life was altered by your selfishness
Accepting love that doesn't exist
Relationships I ve let drag on too long
Forgave people when I should have moved on
Bits of myself torn apart the feeling of guilt overwhelms
Cause i am happy your buried in the dirt