Acceptance

You did what you had to do.
I know that,
now.
There were pieces of your heart
that I couldn't hold
in my flawed,
small
hands.
Everyone deserves
a chance to be
completely,
radiantly
present.
Without guilt,
without wistfulness.
I hope
(now, I hope - not then, no)
that you
were more than present,
that every molecule
of your soul
was inundated
with place, with
time, with
peace.
And I hope
(yes, now I hope)
that the death
of Coming Back
wasn't as painful
as it sounds
to my bruised heart.
Love can take
a lot of shit.
It usually has to.
And after some time,
(some time spent huddled
in the center of my being,
nursing my hurts,
feeding my sadness)
I breathed again.
And then I realized
that I still hope.
Because
you did what you had to do.
I know that now.