salted fields

lately I've been pondering anger
the way it latches on
...if we let it...
...like a leech
sucking out who we truly are
turning us into a husk
...of something else

I contemplate not so distant days
...not enough anyway...
when I felt fury rise up
filling my throat
acidic & biting
burning all thoughts of rationale
into untidy piles of cinder
rather than taking a breath
reflecting on its direction
I would just let it blow

reviewing the instant repercussions
once set into motion
they were impossible to control
like a stone dropped in a pond
the ripples take on a life of their own
moving outward in waves
impacting every thing in the way

I hated my knee-jerk response
regretted not stepping away
pausing a moment...
...to think
I'm usually non-confrontional
avoiding it at all costs
still...
when backed into a corner
I became all fangs & claws
not once...
...was the outcome ever positive

Daddy always said...
that red hair on my head
came as a warning
contents under pressure
that's not...
how I want to be remembered
...by my temper

these past few years
I've had a lot of time
...with myself
looking at who I was
...what I became
really...the darkest aspects
...of me
recognition was hard
...in truth...it fucking hurt
a valuable lesson nonetheless

those who throw stones
inflict physical harm
it will heal...
...but still leaves a visible scar
words though...
they hold their own brand of damage
...often permanent & hidden
much harder to soothe
words can't be unheard
...they will always be felt

as a shadow...
...that haunts...
never knowing...
when it will again crop up
hurting anew
freshly opening wounds

dangerous...
...lethal even...
attacking at the deepest level
assessing weaknesses
...turning them into weapons
it's a tactic I will no longer allow
not from others
definitely not from myself

so I would offer a word of caution
be mindful of the risks
when your ire ties your tongue
and you're tempted
to flay with its sharpest edge...
is it worth the fallout
can you live with what you've done
nothing grows in salted ground
are you willing...
to face barren lands

be aware
no explosion leaves specifics intact
it's indiscrimate
desolation unforeseen
once destroyed...
there's no going back
gone is...
...irretrievable

consider long & hard
what are you willing to lose
when you light that fuse
and give that rage free rein
because nothing...
...will ever be the same