To my father

Where does it start,  
how can you pinpoint the place,
where if something was changed  
we would no longer stand apart?

Belonging; the strongest feeling,
one I chased and craved,  
I thought I was understood,  
how could you shut me out?  
You believed them over me,  
She naive and younger, 
not even bound through blood,
when will my father trust in me?

Promised me many things  
let down so many times.   
But I didn't stop loving or respecting you.   
I dreamed of being in your life,  
but you gave it to them instead.
Now here I stand in history repeating, chastised.  
Just like you branded my mother.  
Forgiveness, being the bigger person,  
no longer do I hear your lessons rambled  
like the lecturer you are.

I do not think I can do it,  
I do not think you deserve it.   
For somebody so articulate in his
career,  
I thought you of all would not be blinded.
But your eyes are closed,  

I understand, honestly I do.   
If you open them you may loose.  
To look beyond the words of one,
Your palace would fall beneath you.
Yet here I sit thinking, sleepless.
Do any of you loose sleep?
Ever wonder if perhaps you were wrong?
This would go against the grain of age.   
There again maybe you do know,
but are too proud to tell me.   
This may be more fitting as you grow older.