I hate me

I can't stand to look in the mirror
I hate the monster I have transformed into
I yearn for a razor blade
I crave the sensation of blood poring down my skin
I want to be loved
I may be unlovable
Every day is another mistake to be made
I just need to cut deeper
I need to be punished
I  need to kill the monster inside
I can't stand to be with my self
There is no escape
Just me and a razor blade