How to Make a Heavy Smell "lighter".

 
Beryl and I, out shopping one day
called in the bank for some money
I stood at the back as she drew the cash
and thought I could smell something funny
it’s gas I think, making hell of a stink
so I moved away to a corner
the smell was stronger, making my eyes blink
so I called a cashier to warn her
 
The manager came and he was quite sure
the gas, he could smell too
I was glad it wasn’t just dog shit
that I had brought in on my shoe
my wife and I had to leave with the others
and the bank was emptied of staff
the Gas Board was called to detect the leak
as we walked to our car with a laugh
 
I sat in the car, and I fancied a fag
for my lighter, I went to my pocket
I was so surprised when my hand went in
my eyes almost left both their sockets  
my pocket quite cold, the lighter was leaking
so there was no leak at the bank
for the trouble caused there that morning  
It was me they all had to thank
 
I drove passed the bank, all cordoned off
the Gas Board outside with the Banker
so I hid my face with my hand driving past
in case they all shouted “YOU WANKER”


A true story dedicated to John Butler a dear friend now deaceased