degradation

Some people think silence is merely an absence of sound
There is nothing as deafening as the absence after someone is gone
The memories are scars, stains in the wallpaper, the floor tiles, the clothes
You see them everywhere, everyday, every time you hope for peace
The shadow of “would” could be real, but fate won’t have it any other way
You feel it in every letter of every word you try to write
But you’re just digging in a line
Dead or alive, you hear they served their purpose
They’re gone and it’s time to move on
They can’t understand this wasn’t your purpose and plan
There may have never been a time when you could’ve been ready
You stare at the walls covered in paralyzed moments
Moments full of sound; echoes into the void
You start to hate it
The pictures, the cheap but cute frames
The damn wallpaper job you both turned into a game
High, low, drunk, sober, Praising Jesus, paying the psychiatrist
Your whole life was supposed to be shared with them
They’re gone, haunted, and your life’s now gone to shit

Hello, you don’t know me, but I live here
Home’s a split-level basement with nothing underneath
You hold onto a thread of your mind
While you string insanity along

You touch them but it’s not the hand you can feel wrapped around yours
You kiss them but their lips don’t write the fantasies, meant to be yours

You find the beauty in a finely sharpened knife
You feed off the desperation of Shakespeare
You see the sunset like a disappointment and an aphrodisiac
You can’t tell if tomorrow is a possibility or an end

Preacher tries a new tithe for the broken-hearted
You throw the money at the headstone
Doesn’t change a damn thing

Shadowed by the memories again
Scream into the pillow to disrupt the absence