deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Razor's Edge
Look at me...what do you see?
You see a monster, that's what you see.
You see a depressed little bitch.
An irresponsible child.
A suicidal killer.
That's right, i did get pregnant.
That's right, I did kill it!
That's right, I am a murderer!
And it suites me.
It comforts me to know I can never belong with normal people.
You are innocent.
You did not kill a child!
And what came out of it?!
Now I have a problem with cutting myself!
Me!
The one who was extremely opposed to it.
But that is the only way I can release my pain, misery, and agony.
It is my drug, my shameful addiction.
The thing that keeps me up at night.
And i cry at night...
For the son i killed is my shame to bear.
You see a monster, that's what you see.
You see a depressed little bitch.
An irresponsible child.
A suicidal killer.
That's right, i did get pregnant.
That's right, I did kill it!
That's right, I am a murderer!
And it suites me.
It comforts me to know I can never belong with normal people.
You are innocent.
You did not kill a child!
And what came out of it?!
Now I have a problem with cutting myself!
Me!
The one who was extremely opposed to it.
But that is the only way I can release my pain, misery, and agony.
It is my drug, my shameful addiction.
The thing that keeps me up at night.
And i cry at night...
For the son i killed is my shame to bear.
Published 11th Feb 2010
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11th Feb 2010 8:20pm
Anonymous
12th Feb 2010 6:59am
really know if this verse is personal or not,im really moved by your brutally honest words of pain.Just wish to say there are no universal rights and wrongs,no matter what religions everywhere say,sometimes we make our own rights, and no matter what others including myself will tell you , its enough to have your own values, having an abortion when you are still a child yourself is no bloody sin! Really loved your poem here.
12th Feb 2010 7:35am
dear .dying.inside. this was a powerful and powerfully sad poem.. I'm so sorry you went through and are going through such treacherous circumstances.. maybe one day you'll forgive yourself for the abortion when you realize you loved him enough to not want to bring him into an ugly world with a mother who was a child herself and hurting too much in this ugly world to give him the life you'd probably wish you could give him.. I wish I had been aborted I'm suicidal as well.. hang in there.. as best you can.. I have no fantastic words to heal you or make you better.. but thank you for writing this.. the poem was harsh and real and I like that..
12th Feb 2010 8:12am
i dont see you as a murderer I see you as a young girl who had to make a very hard decision and you did what you thought was best and I see nothing wrong with it.. I'm sorry you cut yourself.. thats sad.. I do self destructive stuff too because I dont know how else to deal with this fucked up maze we call life
Anonymous
12th Feb 2010 9:14am
i agree wholeheartedly to nathan here, life takes us to unseen places and sometimes you need to take cruch decisions, it doest make you bad, for such definitions are made by religion to construct convenient societies.You see,you are a brave dear for having the honesty to write about this, which the world around us mostly lacks,hang in dear,its a worse thing to bring in a child to a harsh world, when you yourself are a child,pls do hang in, nothing and no one is worth self-harm!
