Depression

Dont know how to put these feelings into words anymore.
Everyone i ever loved just walked through the door.
I move from my bed
Am pacing the floor
I gave all of my heart and still they wanted more.
Am loosing my mind
I hate mankind
The way am feeling cannot be defined.
Am trying not to hear these voice in my head
And trying!  but depression wants me dead.
Just one cut they say, the pain will all go away, just one pill, i cant keep still these stupid voices are forcing me to kill.
 I am lost! and found by darkness
I am a mess theses feelings i cant suppress.
I need peace , i need a piece of cake lock me in the oven with it while it bake.
I cant feel , am i even real , people would run if i my true self would reveal.
I am numb , give me henny, give me rum
My heart is beating louder than a congo drum.
Cant they hear nobody care, am in the midst of people and its like am not there.
Give me molly, give me weed.
Maybe I wont feel it if i bleed, a bottle of vodka is  that what i need? am so l choked up cant even breathe.
Get help they say, get a therapist, pray i tried all that depression just wont go away.
The sad thing is this depression is internal  no one really knows only my journal, its a constant fight within my mind fighting demons that i cant even find.
Am surrounded by love and people who care so why are these demons telling me no one is there , give me a rope tied firmly on  hope, give me a song telling me to go on, am a introvert coated in extrovert they see all the chocolate but they dont see the nuts , take a bite discover the truth everything i am feeling is deep in the root.