deepundergroundpoetry.com
Soft and thin
That past
has made
you see
what you
have been
through all
these years,
thin limbs
rolling off
shattered
dreams
rum tears
lingering on
pale cheeks
trembling
at words,
soft breath
exhaling to
jagged
stars
stained
in quiet
hope.
Published 30th May 2023
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 3
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
31st May 2023 6:22am
Dear N,
I really loved the fragility of this poem. For me, it defined just how delicate the human spirit can be. Very poignant write. H🌷
I really loved the fragility of this poem. For me, it defined just how delicate the human spirit can be. Very poignant write. H🌷
31st May 2023 1:46pm
Holy fuck, I liked Hon's comment on the fragility, but it's also some brutal shit. The vulnerability of looking inside, and .... I didn't get self hate, I didn't get self love, I kinda felt self passivity... like not quite nihilistic or apathetic, but with just that last exhale of hope to which to cling.
Also? FUCKBALLS, Rum tears is glorious. Absolutely glorious.
Great poem.
1st Jun 2023 9:30pm
Concur with Honoria on the fragility.
As I read, I thought of a prisoner that has been food deprived. Reflecting on surviving the ordeal, hope coming in a nourishing meal. The food being self-worth in the poem. A kind word can be a life saver.
As I read, I thought of a prisoner that has been food deprived. Reflecting on surviving the ordeal, hope coming in a nourishing meal. The food being self-worth in the poem. A kind word can be a life saver.
