deepundergroundpoetry.com
Aloof Critique
Fear of mis-construal holds my tongue
All too often when I wish to chime
About poetic efforts so far flung
They seem less like verse and more like a crime.
Like when a reference is too arcane...
So the reading stops with a "what the fuck?"
As narrative derails like a train
Whose iron tracks have been washout struck.
But comprehension is the reader's chore
When the poet's scholarship is shite
With a gist too cryptic to explore
When syntax might be studied every night.
So thwart your verse from sounding way too crude
With grammar lessons...in the boudoir nude!
All too often when I wish to chime
About poetic efforts so far flung
They seem less like verse and more like a crime.
Like when a reference is too arcane...
So the reading stops with a "what the fuck?"
As narrative derails like a train
Whose iron tracks have been washout struck.
But comprehension is the reader's chore
When the poet's scholarship is shite
With a gist too cryptic to explore
When syntax might be studied every night.
So thwart your verse from sounding way too crude
With grammar lessons...in the boudoir nude!
Published 6th May 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
First: STANDING OVATION. Because, yes, some shit is so out there. It's like house painters who slop white paint on the wall and then stand back and nod thoughtfully at the whorls in the drywall... like... I don't get it?! I'm really good at this and... I DON'T GET IT.
Second: Kudos for the double entendre
Third: Bigger kudos for rhyming "What the fuck" in a way that felt natural. I respect that.
Fourth: Big brains are sexy, my dude, and you're a sexy mofo. (HOLDS HANDS UP IN UNIVERSAL SYMBOL OF PLATONICNESS) I'm just sayin.
Pablo Picasso said 'Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.'
(I feel like a lot of fuckers don't want to pay those dues and just start shitting on the floor without being able to explain why it's art. When I shit on the floor I KNOW why it's art)
Good write.
Second: Kudos for the double entendre
Third: Bigger kudos for rhyming "What the fuck" in a way that felt natural. I respect that.
Fourth: Big brains are sexy, my dude, and you're a sexy mofo. (HOLDS HANDS UP IN UNIVERSAL SYMBOL OF PLATONICNESS) I'm just sayin.
Pablo Picasso said 'Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.'
(I feel like a lot of fuckers don't want to pay those dues and just start shitting on the floor without being able to explain why it's art. When I shit on the floor I KNOW why it's art)
Good write.
12th May 2023 8:47pm
Isn't a standing ovation when a girl is most likely to get pregnant?
And I really wonder how horny Plato ever got, what with such a social distinction named after the guy. He was Greek though, so I bet he got it on all the time, at least with the livestock.
Hey! Hey...no one says we gotta fuck, but I admit it would be kinda nice to have an online groupie or two, mostly for the intermittent inflation of my delicate dude ego. Oh yes, I am that shallow, and to prove it I am already starting to fantasize about you in your Red Sonja cosplay attire.
Which neatly lets me segue into cramming the word FUCK into the sopping middle bits of poetic purpose.
Yeah! Why not? I say all phonemes are fair game, but I try not to wear it out.
I like to distribute the cussing carefully, as it is a ratio and proportion thing for me.
Those guttural vowels and hard consonants are awfully tough to say no to, aren't they? Especially when they get so close together like they do.
Yeah, I love that Picasso quote but I also have to remind myself not to be too much of a critical hard ass since there's a lot of folks here who are more about the confessing than the wordsmithing. Both are important, of course.
That big brain sexiness is for real though...isn't it? And the proof of that I saw yesterday in a Skeletor meme where he was mansplaining while wearing glasses. I mean, what's funnier than Skeletor wearing glasses, cuz he don't got eyeballs! Oh god how I laughed! But it did not escape my attention that Skeletor was indeed more sexy with the glasses than without.
You can cosplay with glasses, right?
And I really wonder how horny Plato ever got, what with such a social distinction named after the guy. He was Greek though, so I bet he got it on all the time, at least with the livestock.
Hey! Hey...no one says we gotta fuck, but I admit it would be kinda nice to have an online groupie or two, mostly for the intermittent inflation of my delicate dude ego. Oh yes, I am that shallow, and to prove it I am already starting to fantasize about you in your Red Sonja cosplay attire.
Which neatly lets me segue into cramming the word FUCK into the sopping middle bits of poetic purpose.
Yeah! Why not? I say all phonemes are fair game, but I try not to wear it out.
I like to distribute the cussing carefully, as it is a ratio and proportion thing for me.
Those guttural vowels and hard consonants are awfully tough to say no to, aren't they? Especially when they get so close together like they do.
Yeah, I love that Picasso quote but I also have to remind myself not to be too much of a critical hard ass since there's a lot of folks here who are more about the confessing than the wordsmithing. Both are important, of course.
That big brain sexiness is for real though...isn't it? And the proof of that I saw yesterday in a Skeletor meme where he was mansplaining while wearing glasses. I mean, what's funnier than Skeletor wearing glasses, cuz he don't got eyeballs! Oh god how I laughed! But it did not escape my attention that Skeletor was indeed more sexy with the glasses than without.
You can cosplay with glasses, right?
13th May 2023 7:42pm
Stop.
You had me at Skeletor meme.
Just kiddin. You kick ass and I’ll totally be a groupie. You have to sign my neck so I can get it tattooed.
And don’t touch the metal bra. The fuck, man. You know how hard it is to get fingerprints off?
