the blade...it comforts me.

The perpetual burning inside me...
the fire that burns my soul every day...it abides in you.
You...precious son...i killed you for no reason.
its not your fault, but i punished you anyway.
No one understands...no one will ever understand!
I don’t belong here...on this gorgeous earth.
i belong deep underground.
Where the creatures crawl and where there is no light.
Light...what light? Light is no object to me.
I really am what people tell me.
I am ugly. I am a freak. I do hate myself.
Hell, while im at it, i might as well be dead too, right?
Isnt that what i deserve? That’s it.
That’s the context of the whole.
That’s what i am.
To hate myself, to cut myself, to kill myself.
that’s where it all ends up.
Its a gate in my mind that holds all bad...
but the gate breaks all the time...
releasing the hate and anger that is held up there.
And no, its not fair.
Its a ugly fact that i am forced to face every single day.
And the blade...she cuts through my skin...
leaving an open bleeding gash.
The blood feels good. It helps ease the hell inside me.
My face, an ugly disgrace...
i lay down to fall asleep.[/font]