deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fate, falls & finesse.
When one falls, one definitely learns.
So experience is made of brewing life,
This is why white hair looks good for olds,
And passage of time is the control panel.
Without an admit card one cannot write an exam,
You cannot win before the competition begins.
Waterfalls have their own discourse in nature,
Human beings have their fate, falls & finesse.
So experience is made of brewing life,
This is why white hair looks good for olds,
And passage of time is the control panel.
Without an admit card one cannot write an exam,
You cannot win before the competition begins.
Waterfalls have their own discourse in nature,
Human beings have their fate, falls & finesse.
Published 9th Apr 2012
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Anonymous
9th Apr 2012 2:16pm
The penultimate line reads like William Wordsworth, so kudos there. The second verse is very good, especially the third line (though a "the" should go before "passage of time"); it feels mystical yet coldly modern. The white hair bit is tender and sweet.
I think "admit" should be "admittance" in L5, but that could just be me.
Thanks for the read.
I think "admit" should be "admittance" in L5, but that could just be me.
Thanks for the read.
10th Apr 2012 11:29am
Hey Jack I have not read Wordsworth for a long time and your comment is propelling me to do so. Thank you so much. In our part of the world they write it the same, i.e., 'admit card'.
