The Carousel

The light inside screams
that something needs to be fixed
But i can't be bothered to listen
I just lay dormant, with no direction
Allowing the days to quietly past
each strikingly worse than the last
All because i simply fail to find myself
leaving me plagued with thoughts
that nest in the dark...
Peace is found up high where the rope is bound..
I wanna cry, but am thankfull for my chest is
Constantly caving in on itself
leaving me gasping for air...
This is all unfair... I think all while binge
eating, which brings a short fleating peace
but leaves my stomach swollen with shame....
guilt.... and grief.....
Reaching out....
brings about....
nothing but paranoid riddles
with answers that are found in a soft cell
filled with fluffy blobs and cozy squares
Is this life... another thought floats bye
Is this who or what I am trying to find???
My thoughts slow as a beautiful carousel fills my mind....
how dizzy they all must be going round n round,
yearning to go anywhere, but where they're found!!
they don't like being stuck there,
I silently project.....
Impaled to eternal torment...
forever screaming in silence......
While blank smiles blanket agonizing mask
excreting the air with a distraught sense of joy and security....
is this life....
I chuckle as that thought suddenly reappears agains
Is this who or all i am suppose to find????
Why is this rope the easiest thing to find........