deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fan Dancer
She was a storm cloud strip tease moon tonight
Never for long dropping a nimbus fan
To titillate me with her lunar light
As if I were a moonbeam wanted man.
The billows came and then the billows went,
In kinematics of vorticity;
Dictates some will claim were heaven sent
With judgments lacking specificity.
But I have no mind for the specifics
When by the fire in my camp I write
To compose poetic honorifics
Of how our natural satellite
Sets an ambiance with luminous flux...
More serviceable than a million bucks!
Never for long dropping a nimbus fan
To titillate me with her lunar light
As if I were a moonbeam wanted man.
The billows came and then the billows went,
In kinematics of vorticity;
Dictates some will claim were heaven sent
With judgments lacking specificity.
But I have no mind for the specifics
When by the fire in my camp I write
To compose poetic honorifics
Of how our natural satellite
Sets an ambiance with luminous flux...
More serviceable than a million bucks!
Published 3rd Mar 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 7
reads 194
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Mar 2023 1:33pm
Holy. Balls. I have pictures of the moon like that, and I’m fucking jealous that you’ve turned that phrase
‘She was a storm cloud strip tease moon tonight
Never for long dropping a nimbus fan’
Good god, I can almost get over my sonnet aversion for shit like that… She was a storm cloud strip tease moon tonight…. OMG! It’s sorcery. You transferred the cloud dance into my brain.
Ok. I’m going back to the cheap seats with the plebs.
3rd Mar 2023 5:48pm
I like to think of the sonnet you wrote as a punk rock postmodern version of sonnet 29. I mean, you catch on very quickly. It took me forever to get to where I could write a decent sonnet but YOU make it look easy.
For the record, I love all of the competitor efforts so far. So much so that I am thinking that I should have hosted a sonnet competition months ago. Live and learn.
I guess that makes me some kind of a sonnet whore, but I can live with that distinction :)
For the record, I love all of the competitor efforts so far. So much so that I am thinking that I should have hosted a sonnet competition months ago. Live and learn.
I guess that makes me some kind of a sonnet whore, but I can live with that distinction :)
Ah. So…. Um…I can terza rima my way out of a paper bag if needed. I try not to.
I actually started here 12 years ago thinking to fist-fuck the masters as homage, but I had too much fun free-balling, so I instead fist-fucked erotic free verse.
I actually started here 12 years ago thinking to fist-fuck the masters as homage, but I had too much fun free-balling, so I instead fist-fucked erotic free verse.
3rd Mar 2023 9:52pm
2012 on your profile!
I CAN read when I'm not being a dunce.
I've never tried fist fucking though, so I'm open to any advice you have on the topic :)
I know this much though, I will enjoy reading all those sonnets and I would love to know about your area of study. My dad was a community college English professor.
I CAN read when I'm not being a dunce.
I've never tried fist fucking though, so I'm open to any advice you have on the topic :)
I know this much though, I will enjoy reading all those sonnets and I would love to know about your area of study. My dad was a community college English professor.
4th Mar 2023 00:49am
Lube. Use lube when fist-fucking anything.
Ah, gods bless the community college profs. I was a dropout so I took a class at night each semester for 10 fucking years to claw my way out of the shitheap and into the cultured walls of academia. My early college profs changed my life. Told me I could write. Went out for beers with me and discussed Russian fairy tales. Like… they were my tribe.
4th Mar 2023 1:03am
Not a bad tribe to have. Dad named me after two of his colleagues. Imagine having colleagues instead of co-workers. One of them was a doctor (I think his thesis had something to do with Hamlet). Nice to be outta the shitheap, eh?
4th Mar 2023 10:20pm
