Love and Arrows

Another year gone by,
calendar pages, blown to the wind
and I've just finished packing my gear
for, Valentine's Day is upon me
so swiftly, again.
 
It gets tougher every year
and someday,  
I've gotta think about retirement,
but with how my 401K looks,
this Cupid, ain't goin' anywhere, yet  
 
I tell ya, all that chocolate I sell on the side
gets taxed to the max--
couldn't pay my rent on just the hush money
I get for shooting desire darts
on behalf of all the mooning, lovesick  
bride and groom wannabees, so
I had get a second gig and  incorporate myself
to satisfy the Fed
so now I'm Cupid Inc., d.b.a. Love & Arrows
and I sell the chocolates on Amazon.
 
Gotta supplement the paycheck somehow,
ya know?
 
And don't even get me started on the FDA and CDC--
so many regulations  
just to make the pretty, foil-wrapped
cherub poops, edible.
 
(Well, where did you think, Hershey Kisses
come from ??)
 
And now, I gotta autoclave my arrows
between use, or the CDC will be all over me
like flies on a septic field---  
 
Bloodborne pathogens, indeed! Yeah,
it makes sense that launching an arrow  
into one dude's heart, then  
re-using it without wiping it off
with 3% bleach , before firing away  
at someone else,  
does put the populace at risk  
for contagion.
 
But it still pissed me off
and made my work  
much more cumbersome, since
that battlefield nurse, Clara Barton
figured out that wounds need to be kept clean  
and it trickled down , to today.
 
I tell you, she got no love arrow from me --
ever wonder why she never got married ??
 
And OSHA too!  
Oh. My. Gods.
Can't just use the vintage leather  
arrow quiver anymore--
I gotta keep 'em in the puncture proof,
hard plastic, child-proof latched
with breakaway,
ergonomic, shoulder strap,  
should I ever get tangled in a tree
or high tension wires.
 
^^How's that gonna look  
in museum quality oil paintings of me??
 
**Sigh**
 
Well, time to get at it.
 
You sure you really want me  
to skewer that one for you?
 
I'd much rather be on a warm,  
sunny beach.