Lonely

I think I’m lonely
I think the twist in my stomach, the weight on my chest; is the start of realization
The realization that I am wildly unrealistic
Unrealistic in my desire for connection, in my desire for comfort,in my desire for softness
Forget being soft; It’s a hard life I’ve chosen, a hard life I’ve been handed
I’ve spent too much time picking broken glass out of old wounds, ignoring the fact that the path I’m walking is lined with the shit
For every hole I patch I open six more; shredded skin, shredded clothes, shredded thoughts
I’m crumbling under pressure I’ve created; aching with pain I invited
I think I’m lonely; but I think I’m learning to live in it