giving up

Sitting here
Still, silent.
I would think I was dead
Until my heart starts
Thumping out of control.
Palms wet, cold
I can taste the acid on my buds.
My body quivering
Wishing I was dead
In the space I'm hiding
Drip, drip, drip
Vulnerable and weak
Never to be seen
This is not the real me
Begging "god just take me"
This pain I just can't bare
My disease now a victor
I am giving in
I close my eyes
I see a picture of
Your rugged arms
Reaching out for me
In irony a word says "suffer"
Reminds me of what
Would never be.
You are much stronger
Promise never to give in
We have different struggles
Soon mine finds its end.