Just I Want

i want to have a happy childhood
i want one with both of my parents
i want  to have understood everyone
i want to have been able to be understood

i want to forget crying at the phone everyday for my dad to call; after he left my life
i want to remember all my creative moments
i want my little sister to think of times we cut snowflakes out of paperrolls and delicately split the snowflake into two identical snowflakes

i want to have been born with hearing
i want to have understood other kids
i want to have known how i was missunderstood
i want to have known why they laughed at me

i want to tell people how i cried as a child every day; from all the bullying
i want to have comforted my little sister
i want to understand why i idolized my drunk mom
I want my sister and i to have gotten closer

i want our friendship to be amazing
i want other people see our bond
i want anything to be trusted with each other
i want my siblings to be close together

i want to never forget meeting people
i want to remember watching people like our pets; how they socialize
i want to ask why i understood learning on my own
i want to ask why people are greedy

i want to keep my sketchbooks
i want all my art from childhood
i want it adored at my skills as a child
i want my art to always continue growing

i want to remember my flute; the music, hours of practice
i want my flute always by my side to play
i want to never flinch at the idea of playing my instrument
i want to forget why i did the last half of my senior year

i want all my memmories in middleschool
i want my first crush to be emberassing
i want my appearance to be strong
i want to have not feared others

i want to always love my two best friends
i want to remember them in middleschool; when i kept friends for over a year
i want to see how i grew so confused of other people's kindness
i want to remember my pain

i want to tell somone what i really felt
i want my middle school life not depressed
i want to have friends know my house life
i want to know if i'm ugly and wrong

i want my home not to feel on edge of suspition
i want the woman there not to invade my room and searching my trash
i want to feel easy in my bedroom anytime
i want to remember seeing my mom

i want my mom to have seen me
i want my mom sober
i want mother to know i was around
i want the family to be happy

i want to have had new cloths
i want my pants to be below my ankles; they got so cold
i want to not hate my looks
i want to have cared about people

i want to tell others
i want you to understand how i hated humans; for the pain
i want to forget why i was angry
i want to ingor why they laughed at me as a kid

i want to have opened up before i was in high school
i want to be alright touching other people; to be seen
i want to remember my love of my school band
i want to keep my band family

i want to never loose my  gold medal
i want to show off my high school art
i want to trust it only gets better in life
i want to have been right

i want to keep all my hard school work
i want it all in a box; in case in college i forget and had old work
i want to remember all my marching competitions
i want to continue my art

i want to never loose curiosity
i want to always eat chocolate
i want to never be hypoglacemic
i want to remember my depression

i want to show i was strong; trying to care for others around
i want my hair to grow long again
i want to thank my best friends for accepting me; even if i had short hair
i want my manga collection to grow

i want my art to always change
i want my style to always be my own
i want my mind to be open to new ideas
i want everyone i know to smile around me

i want to never stop making laughs; otherwise i'd be bored of myself
i want other people to trust me when they talk to me
i want my family to understand what happened to me my senior year
i want to have had a better highschool

i want all my memories of my highschool sweetheart
i want to never regret my ex-love
i want to always love what he did for me
i want to never hate what he did to me

i want people to know the truth; how he made my life reborn
i want him remembered for making me happy
i want to tell how he made me smile; without even talking to me
i want to giggle when i remember those times

i want to clap to my grades
i want to forget my elementary life
i want my grades to have been better than C's
i want to have understood what people were saying

i want my hard work in theater remembered; both building sets and performing musicals
i want all the clubs i was in to smile for my work
i want to never forget how to appriciate all the little things; no matter how small
i want to always accept others and want to care and help the best i can

i want others to remember my kindness and love
i want to mark my need to care
i want my kindness to be overwhelming
i want to leave smiles on people's faces

i want to have ended highschool better
i want to have had my family grow bonds and open up to each other
i want my sister to have been better respected
i want the family to respect me; not hate me for life's imperfection

i want to think i had friends who cared
i want to remember loving everyone around me
i want my band family to always stay innocent and goofy
i want friends who try to understand me

i want love to not hurt so much
i want to never feel like it broke my world; with just one heart break over somone else
i want people in highschool to be respectful
i want my pride to shine forever like the sun on earth

i want to never loose contact of friends
i want facebook to keep me updated on them
i want them to know i care
i want to show them with all the little things i can i care

i want my senior year to have been amazing
i want to not have had a job, kicked out, homeless and living with a friend in dallas
i want to have still been able to play music
i want my last semester not to have been so terribly stressful i couldn't socialize with others

i want to have been able to see other people
i want friends to have known i was trapped
i want to tell you i was controlled by this man
i want you to understand my shame, pain, agony time

i want to have told my family and friends what happened; not blind counsilors
i want my sister to know i tried to make things easier for her
i want everyone to know i tried to love them
i want to believe i tried my best till the bitter end

i want to not be shamed of my rape
i want my life to not feel discusted with myself
i want my family to love me and want me back for no reason
i want everything in my power to forget what he broke

i want my heart not to have shattered and all of my talents not to be painful
i want my birthday to never have happened
i want to not have sat in the audiance seats; listening to the band play without me
i want those tears to never have happened

i want to know i loved him when i broke up with him
i want to remember him saying sorry for what he did
i want him to never forget i forgave him
i want him to never forget what he did to me

i want everyone to know he told me the truth
i want to remember reading the text that he used me and was sorry
i want to remember how slowly it took to understand
i want his text known that he didn't love me but still had sex with me

i want everyone to know i loved him
i want you to realize how my soul broke
i want to forget how it made me cold as i dissapeared
i want to hide that i fell depressed again

i want to explain no one knew; i dissapeared from everyone my senior year
i want to forget how lonely i was on graduation
i want the video of me running from my graduates as i stood next to my band
i want to pretend my graduation was the greatest feeling i've ever had

i want you to know i'm ok now
i want to say that i've gotten better
i want to admit i hated my life
i want you to understand i am delicate

i want all the people i'm trying to get to know that i'm not in a situation for relationships
i want to thank all the people who are here with me now
i want to fall in love and get married; have kids and a happy husband
i want to forget my suicidal thoughts when i was depressed

i want my love to make me smile
i want my romance to be real love
i want it to be with an older guy who cares
i want his personality to make me happy

i want to get over my sweetheart
i want to forget all the evil thoughts i felt; from all the suffering i remember
i want my trust to not be broken; from all the lies i was given and denial i used
i want to pretend i had a good memory of my last year

i want to have hung out with the stranger
i want the guy i just met to stop shining
i want my smile to not feel so perfect
i want him not to have left for the army

i want to think about him when i'm not talking to him
i want all of my walls break by his smile and blush with his compliments
i want him to love and even more respect me
i want him to not trust me because he's been hurt and wants to care for me anyways

i want to not trust him but miss him
i want all my feelings feel great
i want to be shy and get a job
i want my manga collection to grow to 300 books

i want the posters on the walls to make me smile, cover the ugly yellow i hate so much
i want my anime collection to be mountanious
i want to be comfortable in my life; working and saving money while still having fun
i want to make good decisions

i want to be happy with my ex
i want to almost feel i'm in love with him
i want his life to be happy and fun again
i want to act like we are perfectly fine

i want the troubles
i want to freak out over the feelings and guilt to my friend
i want my life to move on and i learn to express myself more
i want pictures i take to be  complimented

i want to show off my body
i want my body worthy to show off
i want to be strong and healthy
i want my army man to understand me

i want him to cheer me up and accept it
i want all of my worries wash away as the small kindness brightens my eyes
i want the problems i felt dissapear; like he was ment to make me smile
i want to fall madly in love again

i want to hate internet
i want everyone to not use the internet for a life
i want to admit talking to my friend rocks
i want to try to get to know him more

i want a job and earn money
i want to be stable at home and find love later
i want to make sure i'm over my past and i'm ready to move on
i want everyone to know it's working out

i want to marry the love of my life
i want my love to spoil me alot
i want to get shy because he makes me happy
i want my dreams of having his children

i want two years to pass and he never gets bored or push for anything i dont pull
i want all our time full of smiles and teasing
i want to have great sex; but after he asks for me to be his girlfriend
i want to be totally and blissful in love

i want to feel that everyday is amazing
i want everyone at work notice i'm more energetic
i want every step i take dance in joy when i walk
i want my family to be happy for me

i want my family to be together and sane; otherwise i do not talk to them
i want to stay with him for another year and move in
i want my work to be stable, fun, and functional if its one or two jobs
i want to be working at hot topic really bad

i want all my days be fun and happy
i want my book to be finished and published
i want to become famous from my book
i want to be surprised with an engagment ring

i want to feel that the moment will be the most amazing thing to happen
i want all of my family be happy and support and love me
i want to show them i'm somone to be proud of and now i have my own happy life
i want to have done some college

i want to have the wedding in another year
i want my mom to make it amazing
i want my man to be amazed at my mom
i want my life to feel whole and happy

i want everyone to be proud and want to visit me more
i want my friends and old friends; people who have always loved and cared for me
i want them hugging me tightly in happiness and joy
i want it to make me soar the next day but recieve more hugs from more friends

i want to get an amazing wedding
i want it perfect for us for our lives ahead
i want pictures of beautiful flowers and people
i want proof to remind my beautiful start of life

i want to finish college and become an author; one who amaze youth and imaginatioin
i want the book to engulf readers attention and spark of imagery
i want my husband to work at a stable job and we have a happy life in a house
i want to fix up the house and spend time with him

i want our lives to function smooth
i want him to still tease
i want to always blush and shy away
i want to always be fun

i want to be pregnant
i want to ask about it to my husband; who with joy agrees in the idea
i want to be 25 when i ask him; though he is 32 maybe?
i want us to agree to wait a few days to thik over

i want us to agree but shy from usual fun
i want it to surprise me
i want my whole family to be overjoyed
i want to tell my husband first

i want the news to make his smile shine; pick me up and spin me
i want my whole world to brighten and become colorful
i want the spare room to be our baby's room
i want everyone to know why they should be happy for me right then

i want my cowerkers to be excited
i want to think all of the great things life gave me
i want to appriciate and know my baby will be happy
i want the world to have changed by now

i want gays to have right's; much like blacks and women have fought for
i want to know my child will have all the love we can give
i want all of my life to be full of happy memories in my family
i want my first child to be a little boy

i want to have it a surprise
i want him born in the winter like me
i want to name him somthing interesting
i want his middlename to be badass

i want my family be happy and that i had the first kid of my siblings
i want my grandparents to see my son
i want them to die together in bed; happily asleep next to each other
i want to grieve and hope to make them proud

i want to have tons of books i've written
i want my manga to become a personal library
i want to have my xbox and all my favorite movies
i want to decorate the house fun and interesting

i want blacklights on somtimes to dance in; always on friday for family time
i want my son to be three and already hyper and polite
i want him to always play games and want to be a superhero
i want him to give me puppydog eyes into getting him a toy superhero

i want his dad to be as childish as my son
i want to always try not to laugh when talking
i want every dinner night be funny
i want to still have romance in my life

i want to sword fight and play D&D
i want my husband to be a great cook; and i want to wash dishes with my son
i want him to always have fun helping out
i want him to love reading my manga; so we all would sit and read together

i want him to be acceptant of other people
i want to be pregnant when he's four
i want the whole family to celebrate
i want my life to have a funny family

i want alot of things to happen
i want is never what i've gotten
i want will never ensure what i'll earn and work for
i want can be a dangerous thought and idea if you are not careful

i want to try my best and make good decisions
i want to be happy
i want my life of sad become somthing amazing like stories
i want to try