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Mother/Daughter Note - Mistakes and the Roulette Wheel
You asked a hard question in your last note (How to know it's time for sex). My first answer was long enough that I could picture you rolling your teenager eyes as you read, but hard questions receive long answers.
I mentioned making mistakes but have a few more thoughts on that subject.
Sometimes you know something could be a mistake but you want it so much you take a chance. It’s like wagering happiness against the possibility of hurt or loss at at a spinning roulette wheel. You place your bet and watch helplessly to see where the ball lands. That moment before it finally settles into a slot can be addictive.
It’s OK when our decisions (and bets) lose. Most of what we do in life is a gamble and guess at best, so we shouldn't feel guilty for mistakes. We make them and get past them. One thing to remember about the roulette wheel is that it's best to win quickly and walk away from the table to return another day. The longer we stay, the greater our loss.
Even mistakes can be important for us. Having sex with the boy that helped me with math was a bet I lost, but it became a valuable memory. The boy went on to make a loving family and was a good person. When he died, I was sad and thought again about our time together, now with thankfulness.
I mentioned making mistakes but have a few more thoughts on that subject.
Sometimes you know something could be a mistake but you want it so much you take a chance. It’s like wagering happiness against the possibility of hurt or loss at at a spinning roulette wheel. You place your bet and watch helplessly to see where the ball lands. That moment before it finally settles into a slot can be addictive.
It’s OK when our decisions (and bets) lose. Most of what we do in life is a gamble and guess at best, so we shouldn't feel guilty for mistakes. We make them and get past them. One thing to remember about the roulette wheel is that it's best to win quickly and walk away from the table to return another day. The longer we stay, the greater our loss.
Even mistakes can be important for us. Having sex with the boy that helped me with math was a bet I lost, but it became a valuable memory. The boy went on to make a loving family and was a good person. When he died, I was sad and thought again about our time together, now with thankfulness.
Published 9th Sep 2022
Author's Note
This note follows the previously posted exchange. Sometimes a mom has to say a lot about something. Thank you to Laluma for encouraging me to review these notes shared with my daughter over the years.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Sep 2022 12:49pm
Such an approach with your daughter will impress her that you are no hypocrite, that you have made mistakes at similar age to her and learned from them - parents prepared to share that they are human are better than those who cover up what might be considered inconvenient aspects of their past and present a standard impossible to attain.
10th Sep 2022 2:40am
Thank you for the acknowledgement.
This was an unexpected surprise.
It is very humbling and an honor to be receiving what feels like too much unworthy and undeserved credit for your talent in sharing your world with us.
This was an unexpected surprise.
It is very humbling and an honor to be receiving what feels like too much unworthy and undeserved credit for your talent in sharing your world with us.
21st Sep 2022 6:38pm
Yes. Your comments have been encouraging and I appreciate them. I worry that I'm unworthy of my daughter or might make a serious mistake with her but I'm thankful that we've kept the communication open between us.
