The Weather

There is something comforting about the rain    
Dark skies and heavy drops      
Thunder claps and lightning strikes      
      
I can’t breath      
     
There is something comforting about the ocean
During a storm      
When the seas are ferocious and deadly      
When the waves could swallow entire ships whole      
     
I’m suffocating      
     
There is something comforting about the soft taps of the trees      
Against windows and doors and the sides of houses      
While the wind tears through at breakneck paces      
     
I’m fucking dying      
     
There are days when the shining sun is just too bright      
And the warm weather is just too nice      
And the gently breeze is just too calm      
     
I need the rage of a hurricane       
The deadliness of lighting strikes      
The hostility of a sudden down pour      
     
The world is quiet and I am falling apart      
     
Some days I want nature to reflect      
Every bit of internal turmoil I experience      
     
God is water      
And I, one of Their devoted subjects      
     
I need a sea breeze on my skin      
The pelting of heavy raindrops      
The whipping of a wet wind      
The lapping of lakes at my toes and the harsh pull of a river on my skin      
     
I want to feel my God tear the very earth beneath my feet apart      
Rip away the obnoxious beauty of nice days and clear skies      
Devour the peace others so crave      
     
I am chaos      
     
Tell me,      
How do I find peace in sunlight      
When I crave the endless dark