Just another mistake

From warming up on the benches,
To gang shit in the tranches.
It's like I know longer know myself,
Mind dieing slowly the same with my health.
Spend days riding the speedball,
Ready to hit a wall.
Work so hard ,
Just a few more scars.
My veins ache,
Don't know how much more I can take.
Another day Another fuck up,
 Might as well fill this cup up.
Fucked up today and lost the rent,
Fucked up today my mind is spent.
So many shots so big,
For the veins I had to dig.
My love tells me it's okay
I can't believe what she says.
I see it in her eyes ,
She once again wants to know why.
That it's me she has to love
Why can't she be free as a dove.
Feel like I'm holding her back,
I can't even flip a pack.
Might do her a favor and end it,
Fuck this life full send it.
One last bullet might spend it.
Slowly breaking her heart don't know if j can mend it.
I know it makes me sound sappy,
But I truly just want her happy.
Maven if I have to be dead,
I made it so I'll lay in that bed.
I just want her to be okay,
Even if that's mean this is my final day.