A Prerogative of Nothing

You intrigue me. What is your game? Are you playing at a higher level or a lower one? You’ve never explained your purpose to me nor to anyone else, as far as I can tell.
People have many judgements of you but you’ve never truly divulged that information. People say that you’re a bitch or that you really don’t care or pay attention, but I don’t think that’s you. I don’t think people give you as much credit as you deserve.
However, the reason they don’t is that you have put up a shield to disguise your true self. Rather than being the true person you are you have covered your true feelings and actions so that you can fit in with the “normal” people around you.
Part of that is who you look for to be around you and protect you from others.
You’ve tried the same formula three times and the first two ended poorly. I’m not sure how the third attempt is going but I would think that it is safe to assume that it won’t last longer than the end of August, since that is when you will need to be around each other all of the time.
You continue to repeat the same mistakes around the same people and they give you the same reactions every time, they laugh and give you no compensation for your loss. I would say that you’re fulfilling the definition of insanity, but I’m not entirely sure. Maybe you see something there that no one else can; something that is constantly changing in his soul. But, all I see is his dull, pleading, chicken-eyes.
I am frightened for and for your future because your impulses are going to cost you more than you know.
I feel like, maybe, we became friends near the end, but then, I’m reminded that while you might be playing a game on a different level from me mentally, you are on a higher social plane than I and that I have no purpose being that close to the sun. But, you are higher than a lot of people a lot of the time, but you refuse to stand up to those you affect your gravitational pull.
Maybe, I should stop caring.
But maybe, you do care and that’s what scares and intrigues me; I don’t know if you’re serious or if you’re lost. I wish I knew your future but I know that you don’t know either and so there’s nothing for me to worry about.