Clean or dead

Just one more day as a fuck up,
Might as well pour something strong in a cup.
Most days I can't look myself in the eye,
If it wasn't for her I would say goodbye.
Never been anything but an outlaw,
But this life has left me raw.
All I've ever known is guns and drugs,
All my friends are goons and thugs.
I feel like I'm destined to fail,
For so long I've been on this trail.
Every time I end up in jail,
It always starts with a digital scale.
I never see the harm,
Of sliding a needle in my arm.
Can't honestly say it's been fun,
Gotta constantly pack a gun.
Days on end awake,
Endless sales to make.
So I would just shoot more ice,
That feeling so nice.
Never thought I had hope,
Always ran back to dope.
No lessons learned,
All bridges burned.
Watched my mom die from behind bars,
Now I'm down on my knees pleading to the stars.
On her only I can lean,
I just want to be clean.
I must get right,
Hoping an end is in sight.
It seems like another endless night,
Atleast she has my back in this fight.
This time I'll come out on the winning side,
Or it'll be a drug related suicide.
Either way it's my last ride,
There's nowhere I can hide.