deepundergroundpoetry.com
Another Common Misunderstood Troupe, Reason On The Edge Of a Blade
I finger paint walls in my blood
caricatures of
smiling families holding hands
assuming I could have that
my shaking digits
slash a line through the crumbling
reality of a folding paradigm
where belief has been gaslighted
righteously so
to the tune of a thousand score
of traumas
hidden under my top
the welts of scars rub against
my affinity for pain
my belief that it's what I deserve
as if the blood beneath my nails
is the dirt of Leda
a swan dancing
on the line of a razor
streaks of
Ophelia drowning
in the past
breaking on the shores of the present
dripping wounds
a painting for the future
and still I want to hold
to my heart the mewling sound
of potential and what it might mean
to guide a life
sacrificing parts of my own
caricatures of
smiling families holding hands
assuming I could have that
my shaking digits
slash a line through the crumbling
reality of a folding paradigm
where belief has been gaslighted
righteously so
to the tune of a thousand score
of traumas
hidden under my top
the welts of scars rub against
my affinity for pain
my belief that it's what I deserve
as if the blood beneath my nails
is the dirt of Leda
a swan dancing
on the line of a razor
streaks of
Ophelia drowning
in the past
breaking on the shores of the present
dripping wounds
a painting for the future
and still I want to hold
to my heart the mewling sound
of potential and what it might mean
to guide a life
sacrificing parts of my own
Published 6th Jun 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
6th Jun 2022 10:18am
it's amazing how people misunderstand the reasoning behind such a topic and how much it can affect a person on an incredibly deep level
your first stanza alone definitely sang from the same hymn sheet as myself, how we grow up to learn things aren't as great as they look or seen and how the "good life" is not always the case for many people which leads us to believe nothing good will come our way in life or even being able to deserve it,
interesting to see the description of leda and the swan, it certainly describes the addiction when it comes to the humble blade without any romanticism behind it, even the worst of things can feel like a relief for a while whether or not it leaves a mark upon us,
strange with the ending because i knew an old dog who spoke to somebody once about this particular topic, i think he gave them a kick up the arse and made em' see sense whilst in a particular flavour of hell :]
i haven't seen a poem like this for a while and it's good of you to share it with us mate, i think i'll keep it 👌🏻
cheers for the dancing swan and your presence 🦢
*bro fist*
-some fucker who knew a swan once
your first stanza alone definitely sang from the same hymn sheet as myself, how we grow up to learn things aren't as great as they look or seen and how the "good life" is not always the case for many people which leads us to believe nothing good will come our way in life or even being able to deserve it,
interesting to see the description of leda and the swan, it certainly describes the addiction when it comes to the humble blade without any romanticism behind it, even the worst of things can feel like a relief for a while whether or not it leaves a mark upon us,
strange with the ending because i knew an old dog who spoke to somebody once about this particular topic, i think he gave them a kick up the arse and made em' see sense whilst in a particular flavour of hell :]
i haven't seen a poem like this for a while and it's good of you to share it with us mate, i think i'll keep it 👌🏻
cheers for the dancing swan and your presence 🦢
*bro fist*
-some fucker who knew a swan once
7th Jun 2022 11:18am
Good to see you Here and glad this one got your approval, and that it was well executed enough for you to take it with you.
6th Jun 2022 1:06pm
What he said up there. Damn.
Hunter S. Thompson was my hero until I realized his famous "You can't miss what you never had" is utter crap. Your opening and closing are fucking haunting in the quiet agony.
Your opening and closing stanza tell the story, and you wove beautifully stark details in it.
I finger paint walls in my blood
caricatures of
smiling families holding hands
assuming I could have that
and still I want to hold
to my heart the mewling sound
of potential and what it might mean
to guide a life
sacrificing parts of my own
Wow.
Hunter S. Thompson was my hero until I realized his famous "You can't miss what you never had" is utter crap. Your opening and closing are fucking haunting in the quiet agony.
Your opening and closing stanza tell the story, and you wove beautifully stark details in it.
I finger paint walls in my blood
caricatures of
smiling families holding hands
assuming I could have that
and still I want to hold
to my heart the mewling sound
of potential and what it might mean
to guide a life
sacrificing parts of my own
Wow.
9th Jun 2022 6:56am
Apparently hero’s don’t always measure up 😅 I’m an uncultured swine, so had no idea who you were talking about, thankfully the knowledge of the human race is in my hand, so I stopped watching/writing poem for ten minutes and found out he was rather impressive.
Thanks for the stop by Betty,
It’s always good to see you slumming it down here
Thanks for the stop by Betty,
It’s always good to see you slumming it down here
6th Jun 2022 8:43pm
Your first section brings to mind those stick figure families that were all over the back windows of cars for a while. Still see them sometimes. Not a fan. It's so performative, and like the rosy pictures of life people like to post on whatever social media walls they have, many of us know that narrative is bullshit, and "normal" for far too many was pretty messed up, just differing degrees of survival.
The hope in the last section that brings this piece home, that it can be better, that you could do better, will do better, is so moving, it raises gooseflesh, even after multiple read throughs.
The hope in the last section that brings this piece home, that it can be better, that you could do better, will do better, is so moving, it raises gooseflesh, even after multiple read throughs.
9th Jun 2022 6:57am
If it hits on the emotions then, it’s working thank you for a long and explanatory comment, these fuel a writer to know what they’ve done well.
And yes agree about the stick figures lol
And yes agree about the stick figures lol
