Lighting Up The Night

 
tucked her into bed then timidly grabbed my pack
cravin’ it bad so i smoke a third djarum black
and feel fkn disgusting, deceitful, disappointed
had to sneak around the house to the basement
then into the garage, carefully prop open the door
the whole place smells, there’s no going back now

she will know what i’ve done come the morning

i light up and stare off into the cold rainy night
intersection’s lit up by buzzing street lights
frogs are croaking, wind’s whipping through pines
at the top of the stairs, jostling wind chimes
and i imagine it would be a night much like this one
when i would be sneaking out of this very doorway
after grabbing both of the gas cans
and ensuring my bluetooth setting is off
so music doesn’t suddenly start in my car
then just like that, there’s no turning back
i drive quietly off into the dark

i don’t need a map
i don’t say goodbye
i’ve already told you
my last goodnight
leave you with my notes
pray you don’t wake up
soon enough to stop me
from burning up my body
and lighting up the night

you will know what i’ve done come the morning