Love, after child

Love
 
 after child
 
My husband was the Sun,
the fucking Sun,
loud and bright and energiful
and beautiful and damningly funny,
he burst daylight out of his body,
over half way to Adonis,
he could drag me from gloom
out upon his wings.
I was in awe of this land-God,
spent days laying in the bath of him,
breathing his breath to a hum,  
following his lead,
I got to be the man's best friend,
howl at the moon,
sleep at the knee,
life goal driven.
And then,  
because I loved him,
because he was a gift to the world
I wanted to make more of him,
to give more of him,
to carry him inside me from this life
to the next generation,
we had a daughter,
eyes like his,
hair like mine,
traits of both of us,
the best and the worst,
pulled the joy right out of his chest,
I watched it go -  
the eclipse.
And we'd still fuck,
bathe,
walk,
sleep,
eat,
but the worship had left,
the worship was now
tied up in this child,
living inside her,
her body half way between light
and dark
and so now
when I look at him
he is still a land-God,
he is still the fucking Sun,
its just these choices we made,
my urges, his and my concept of faith,
have crushed that goodness to love dust
and if I could
I would have just admired him
in those rooms where he glowed,
left the wondrous beast well alone.