The struggle of these poems (of me)

The struggle of these poems
(of me)
written December 19th, 2021

I struggle so many ways
to write these poems
(to live each minute
of my days)

struggling to think they are worth
putting pen to paper for
(to think that I am worth
putting pen to paper for)

struggling to trust that I will find
the words to finish the poem
(to trust that I will find my way
to the proper end one day)

struggling to polish
the rough edges and gaps
the parts that tear the page
the parts too dark to say
the parts too bright to see
(to polish myself...
do I leave the jagged edges?
can I smooth them even if I wanted to?)

struggling to find the self-love
to take the time to write
(to find the self-love to be here
living my life not lost in my mind)

struggling to have the courage to share
(to be brave enough to speak out loud)

that these words are enough
(that I... am enough)