Devil

She told me
When I couldn’t sleep
When I woke up fighting sheets
And couldn’t breathe
That I didn’t read the bible enough
That the devil was tough
tougher than all the rest
 
And he held me down at night
So I couldn’t breathe
Dreams couldn’t take flight
my body would heave
I tried to see him
To get him to let me go
But every night he came
And into me he’d lower

She told me
When I couldn’t move
When I woke up choking she’d disapprove
And put the bible on my chest
Reminding me to do my best
That the devil was tough
tougher than all the rest
 
And he held me down at night
So I couldn’t breathe
Dreams couldn’t take flight
my body would heave
I tried to see him
To get him to let me go
But every night he came
And into me he’d lower

She told me
When I couldn’t scream
When I woke up, ice in my bloodstream
From everything I swear I dreamed
That I must not be praying hard enough
That the devil was tough
tougher than all the rest
 
And he held me down at night
So I couldn’t breathe
Dreams couldn’t take flight
my body, it would heave
I tried to see him
To get him to let me go
But every night he came
And into me he’d lower
 
I didn’t have the heart to tell her
I didn’t have the strength to show her
It wasn’t the devil
splintering my sleep
It wasn’t him who made me weep
It was someone here in flesh and blood
Who made me promise to be good
To never tell or he would yell
And pull all the blame up from the deepest well
pushing it into the small and meek
Into the havoc he would wreak
 
And so he came to hold me down at night
So I couldn’t breathe
Couldn’t find the light
I looked away from his face
So in the morning I could erase
The anger and the scent
Of the one the devil sent