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The dynasty of my darkness, a letter to the inner child

As I was growing up, my smile was contracted, shrunk into a gnawing levelness, constructing a soulless amateur of aliveness mimic. My natural joy met its naturally unjustified highest peak when words could not be formed and crushed after I started giving them structure.
While the horn of Amalthea was feeding me secrets of the human abyss, through the eye blinding darkness of life, I saw the festive illumination of death, as the illusional gods of harmony and reason were absent.
Absent was my gratitude for this life also, therefore after I got tired being sad about my time here, I decided to give it away to the source for its entertainment purposes.
My innermost incomprehension existed as the center of my singularity and it was no other than my nonentity value.
Infants of guilt were poured in the disturbed mind by my insecurity, slowly simmering them within their burning desire of freedom.
But I am the prison. I am the prisoner.
A cannibal of my own self. An abuser of my innocence.
Nothing sits stronger though than our eternal essence. Even though it is drained in the very first early years on Earth, it remains as the endless home of our soul, a proud representation of infinite love. And I love mine, I accept it and embrace it as it is.
My sweet inner child,
is it me in need of your hug now or is it now that I heard your calling for it?
All the defense mechanisms, such as feelings of vanity, despair, jealousy, anger, obnoxiousness, hatred was making you think we are a bad person.
We came tired in this world. A challenge was given to us and we have to go through it.
A challenge of breaking a horrible cycle. Our mission has two poles, the blessing, and the curse, it is we who decide where we roam.
Whilst playing with your little teacups you discovered something amazing, how different you are. But you did not know that was a privilege, you thought of it as a misfortune most of the times. Solitude felt good, just because you were so sensitive. Escaping to your imagination was your salvation from a continuity of your dooming pre-marking.
You managed so well to build up this strength, I owe to you my power and insight. You are strong beyond measure, coping with an unhealthy environment, a misguided paradigm, a confused abnormal raising. In a society of icons, you felt unhappy for not having a typical family, for not getting the love you needed. But I am sending you boundless love, flooding your inside with it, so you can always find it, for time is a delusion and we can bend it.
So, seek for me every time you cry alone on your pillow at night.
Let me caress your wounds when they hurt you. Forgive them child, for they know not what they do.
Find my comforting love to you when you feel alone.
See our completion through our eyes of wisdom when you feel unworthy. Do not allow the ignorance to define you as not worthy.
You are not the prey; you are a survivor.
You are not who and what they told you are, you are a living treasure of vast possibilities.
You did the best you could to protect us, I am so proud of you and so grateful.
The lethe ends here and now, we are free.
personanongrata
Written by personanongrata (persona non grata)
Published
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