vessel

everything is heavy
and im am a weak vessel
that can't uphold the masses

im weak from my own insecurities
that fuel my distaste to eat
and leave me worthless
and breathless
and exhausted

im weak from social affairs
and people with sick intentions
who crack open my once beautiful vessel
and consume the parts of me i wanted to keep
maybe they donnt mean to destory mee
but they do, and I let them

i take each hit as they come
openly
fully
even worse
i like the pain, i chase the pain
and i inflict that pain onto myself
and that makes me weak.

my vessel is gone
my one beautiful
and nurturing protection
i let it leave me
i let others take it
i miss my vessel
wholeheartedly
i want my vessel back
i chase my vessel
but


i cannot reach it
i can't obtain it
my vessel has perished
it's been slaughtered
and worst of all
its my fault
because i was weak
and i let them steal my vessel

they are thieves, but unaware of their faults
i never spoke up, because I AM WEAK

maybe if I tried harder
i wouldn't be so raw
and i could avoid my own weakness
but my chrysalis is gone
and i never got to spread my wings

my vessel watches me
from afar
from the universe where my vessel is better off
i think it misses me too
maybe someday soon, my beautiful vessel.