I Want To Write Like Hemingway

He looked me dead in the eye and asked
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I want to write like Ernest Hemingway
He took a look at what I wrote
“Nope, not today”
I want to sing like Billy Joel
No kidding, I told him
That's my goal
I want to look like Chris Hemsworth
I'll even take the blond hair
For what that's worth

Truth of the matter is
I am what I am
My E-mail is full
But it's probably just spam
Or bill collectors
I've got'em galore
They can lose my address
I don't need no more.

I want to play guitar like Carlos Santana
Make that instrument sing
Can I? Can I? Can I?
I want to have muscles like Schwarzenegger
I want to flex and pose
But I'll probably drink a kegger
I want to have more likes on Twitter than whoever is hot this week
I should probably get on it though
OK, my internet skills need a tweak

Truth of the matter is
What you see is what you get
I don't have any talents
I don't have any hits
I'm just a normal guy
Who lives a normal life
I had one normal kid
And an extraordinary wife

I want to walk on a tropical beach somewhere
Just me and my wife
Without so much as a care
I want to feel the sand as it fills between my toes
And what I do after?
Lord only knows