deepundergroundpoetry.com
Underground
Got to get out of here!
Can't stand the dark and the damp and the dust.
Claustrophobia; the imagination offering countless possibilities. The ceiling caving in, burying me. If the floor gave way as well, I would fall into blackness, panting and suffocating, knowing that I'd never escape. Certain death.
Buried alive. Like in the famous Rachmaninoff Prelude. Pounding chords as the man attempts to fight his way out of a grave.
Help!
Can't stand the dark and the damp and the dust.
Claustrophobia; the imagination offering countless possibilities. The ceiling caving in, burying me. If the floor gave way as well, I would fall into blackness, panting and suffocating, knowing that I'd never escape. Certain death.
Buried alive. Like in the famous Rachmaninoff Prelude. Pounding chords as the man attempts to fight his way out of a grave.
Help!
Published 6th Oct 2021
Author's Note
From an old novel attempt.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 12
reads 479
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
6th Oct 2021 9:10pm
7th Oct 2021 10:34pm
6th Oct 2021 10:58pm
this does not need the padding of a novel to be felt. it already does feel right
7th Oct 2021 10:38pm
6th Oct 2021 11:08pm
7th Oct 2021 10:47pm
7th Oct 2021 6:12am
Dear L,
Aside from the physical response of shortness of breath, increased blood pressure and thumping heartbeat just thinking about being enclosed in a small space, the anxiety of feeling trapped in life felt claustrophobic. Feeling trapped is suffocating and your poem expresses that energy and agitation brilliantly. H🌷
Aside from the physical response of shortness of breath, increased blood pressure and thumping heartbeat just thinking about being enclosed in a small space, the anxiety of feeling trapped in life felt claustrophobic. Feeling trapped is suffocating and your poem expresses that energy and agitation brilliantly. H🌷
7th Oct 2021 10:52pm
Thanks very much for your comments, Honoria, and for including it on your RL. I'm pleased you could picture and imagine the scenarios painted here.
9th Oct 2021 9:42am
9th Oct 2021 4:27pm
9th Oct 2021 2:30pm
It's really full of very deep feeling, the feeling of being in such a narrow, dark, and horrible place which one can't escape from. Your poetry is in general full of deep feeling, which is an essential aspect and element of good poetry. Actually, feeling is the essence of poetry. But what made you write this poem? I would be very pleased if you tell me.
9th Oct 2021 4:27pm
Thanks, Joseph. It's part of a story in which the protagonist gets trapped in a basement of a damp and abandoned building. But the fear itself comes from me, as I wouldn't cope with being trapped.
