Dear Diary

I’m always thinking, of everyone. Yet I think of no one. I think, how would this person feel about this? But then I also think, this is funny, and then I say it. And people get mad. And I don’t mean to offend anyone. But I always seem to make someone upset. And I hate it. I don’t want people to hate me, but sometimes I do. Sometimes I want people to hate me. People would probably be like “oh you should see someone cause you seem depressed and stufffff” but sometimes you just need someone to hate you. I think. Sometimes I need someone to be mad at me. Because sometimes being mad at yourself isn’t enough. And I know it’s not enough for me a lot, because I always am telling lies. Why do I lie, you wonder? For safety. For happiness. For everything. I melt something in the dishwasher? Wasn’t me. I saw someone walk in a bathroom with an empty bottle and come out with a full one? It really happened I swear! I did bad on a test? I promise I study super hard! I lie so my parents arent mad at me, I lie so other people are entertained, I lie so I don’t get in trouble. And I’ve been doing it so long, that it has just become a habit. And I bet whoever reads this will now wonder how truthful I really am. Which is good. Because I don’t always tell the truth. But that doesn’t mean you should always be mad. I mean if I break something of yours and lie then yeah get mad, but if I lie about a story, just like the story. It’s like a fiction novel. It doesn’t have to be real for you to love it. Wow I started this so different from the end. I get off topic a lot. But yeah so sometimes I lie also to get people mad at me. Because I can’t hate myself enough for all the pain I’ve caused others.