deepundergroundpoetry.com
Believe in Me
Believe in Me
I feel like our tattered souls connected,
in such a way,
it was certainly unexpected.
You stole my heart right from my chest.
I would have never willingly given it to you,
even at my best.
You don’t know how to love my broken soul,
I think it is too much for you,
so you run into an unemotional hole.
You run away from the woman who cares.
why do you do that, how do you dare?
I would have given you the world,
but you will never know.
you don’t know how to love,
or least you’ll never show.
you’ll never show me the man you can be.
you don’t believe in yourself,
how could possibly you believe in me?
I feel like our tattered souls connected,
in such a way,
it was certainly unexpected.
You stole my heart right from my chest.
I would have never willingly given it to you,
even at my best.
You don’t know how to love my broken soul,
I think it is too much for you,
so you run into an unemotional hole.
You run away from the woman who cares.
why do you do that, how do you dare?
I would have given you the world,
but you will never know.
you don’t know how to love,
or least you’ll never show.
you’ll never show me the man you can be.
you don’t believe in yourself,
how could possibly you believe in me?
Published 11th Aug 2021
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Aug 2021 7:23am
11th Aug 2021 7:22am
--Wow--
This is the 1st poem you've published on dup in just under 11 months. And I was here, online, when you did it.
Who would've thunk it...Wow!
Now, to the poem.
Huh.
"Emotional" tends to be the deep end of the swimming pool for men, most of who are still wearing water wings, or whatever they call them.
And that's just the way we are.
Nice image of the soul, as tattered fabric.
Interesting beginning--you wouldn't have given him your love, if you had had any choice.
Honest critique: it's hard for me to get into this, because it seems to communicate the idea to me (unintentional) that you (& everyone else, me incl) are just locked into our own self-justifications.
That's not a big deal--it's kind of our condition as humans.
The stories we tell ourselves to keep going.
Instead--and this is my aesthetic bias--I tend to like to see someone contend with herself, with regard to her past, hold herself accountable, That's the "you" I really want to hear "you" go up against.
This is the 1st poem you've published on dup in just under 11 months. And I was here, online, when you did it.
Who would've thunk it...Wow!
Now, to the poem.
Huh.
"Emotional" tends to be the deep end of the swimming pool for men, most of who are still wearing water wings, or whatever they call them.
And that's just the way we are.
Nice image of the soul, as tattered fabric.
Interesting beginning--you wouldn't have given him your love, if you had had any choice.
Honest critique: it's hard for me to get into this, because it seems to communicate the idea to me (unintentional) that you (& everyone else, me incl) are just locked into our own self-justifications.
That's not a big deal--it's kind of our condition as humans.
The stories we tell ourselves to keep going.
Instead--and this is my aesthetic bias--I tend to like to see someone contend with herself, with regard to her past, hold herself accountable, That's the "you" I really want to hear "you" go up against.
11th Aug 2021 5:28pm
This is raw and deep. I think women are more in touch with their emotional needs. Men just don't want to go there.
