Blood in my Veins

Loved the lines: "it's like a frame. The picture being my mind game."

thank you. i can honestly say that those were prob my favorite lines out of that poem

Perfect desciption of cutting

Thanks. i really appriciate the comment

i like the way you describe your poems, this is the one that first caught my eye. ill be reading more from now on :)

yay, please do, and thanks. :)

This is really good if I were to suggest anything if probably mess it up its perfect

lol, no it wouldnt, but thanks anyway!

Make this(FIRST)cut(WITH)(A)razor blade.  
Hiden (FROM) the world(I)(CANT)take all the pain.  
(A)Red warm river (IS) flowing from my vein's.  
Your the only one who(REALY) knows my name.  
The lines (ON MY ARM ARE)like a frame.  
The picture being(ONLY A) mind game. 
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THIS IS THE SORT OF THING THEY WILL DO TO YOUR POETRY..... 
BUT I DONT THINK THIS ONE IS QUITE READY YET 
************************************************************* 
 I am sorry the way i've put this. But you did ask for my help!
if you still want me to help I will, But if not jusy tell me?
***************************************************************
Catch you next time I'm on this site. 
 
The Warrior Poet. 
Eamon John (a) Healy.

ok, i see. so they like the grammer aspect of the things more...