deepundergroundpoetry.com
I'll BE OBEDIENT.
I'll BE OBEDIENT.
Life you are strong, and l am frail.
How can l compete with your strength?
You have seen such a lot of men.
They have all passed, and you remain.
I'm trying just to ken your will
to go along with what you say.
Lots knocked their heads on your strong flint.
They've got no gain and bled their brains.
So kindly, l try to see what
you want from me during my stay.
You have brought me to your nice earth.
Please tell me what your aim can be.
I love your gift. It is so great.
I want to show my gratitude.
If you tell me why l am here,
I'll do my best to be your dear.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Life you are strong, and l am frail.
How can l compete with your strength?
You have seen such a lot of men.
They have all passed, and you remain.
I'm trying just to ken your will
to go along with what you say.
Lots knocked their heads on your strong flint.
They've got no gain and bled their brains.
So kindly, l try to see what
you want from me during my stay.
You have brought me to your nice earth.
Please tell me what your aim can be.
I love your gift. It is so great.
I want to show my gratitude.
If you tell me why l am here,
I'll do my best to be your dear.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 23rd Jul 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 2
comments 13
reads 359
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jul 2021 9:42pm
"You have brought me to your nice earth".
Leaving aside the questions of whether the earth IS nice (especially given how it destroys people with floods and disease and drought) as well as whether life created the earth (wasn't the earth the place where life arose), will you please tell me where you were before life brought you to earth?
And where may I find life's voice.
Cue the ad hominems and the avoidance of speaking directly to each of my remarks.
Leaving aside the questions of whether the earth IS nice (especially given how it destroys people with floods and disease and drought) as well as whether life created the earth (wasn't the earth the place where life arose), will you please tell me where you were before life brought you to earth?
And where may I find life's voice.
Cue the ad hominems and the avoidance of speaking directly to each of my remarks.
23rd Jul 2021 10:21pm
Fantastic.
I love this stanza, especially the rare word "ken" ("know"). Great choice of word.
"I'm trying just to ken your will
to go along with what you say.
Lots knocked their heads on your strong flint.
They've got no gain and bled their brains."
I love this stanza, especially the rare word "ken" ("know"). Great choice of word.
"I'm trying just to ken your will
to go along with what you say.
Lots knocked their heads on your strong flint.
They've got no gain and bled their brains."
Do you know how many times J-Z has used the word "ken"? It is a staple, like "mum" and "dear" and "indite"" and "endow" and "cheers" and "so" (used as a comparative adjective or adverb), of his dull and limited vocabulary.
23rd Jul 2021 10:58pm
Thank you very much, Lozzamus, for your like and encouragement. I highly appreciate them because they come from a great writer like you who likes and knows what is good. J Z
Anonymous
- Edited 3rd Aug 2021 00:45am
23rd Jul 2021 11:48pm
<< post removed >>
24th Jul 2021 8:22am
Thank you very much, Cara, for your very kind comment. God is life for us all. He brought us to earth from nothing. We all love the earth He placed us in, and noone wants to leave it and die. We are all ready to obey Him. Your comment encourages me a lot.
24th Jul 2021 9:24am
Life, your weight,
your hammer strokes
upon my body and my mind,
your whips and scorns of time
is all too much for me to bear.
If there’s a purpose
in your hammerings
it is not clear.
No matter how I search for it
I’m left insatiate.
And so I ken
along with scores and scores
of other men
whose pain that you’ve been witness to
(if not its cause),
whose wit
you’ve smothered and destroyed,
whose death cries
you have all to often wrung
from them
whose blood you’ve drunk
for years and years on end,
you are a house of dung.
So why should I
become obedient to you?
your hammer strokes
upon my body and my mind,
your whips and scorns of time
is all too much for me to bear.
If there’s a purpose
in your hammerings
it is not clear.
No matter how I search for it
I’m left insatiate.
And so I ken
along with scores and scores
of other men
whose pain that you’ve been witness to
(if not its cause),
whose wit
you’ve smothered and destroyed,
whose death cries
you have all to often wrung
from them
whose blood you’ve drunk
for years and years on end,
you are a house of dung.
So why should I
become obedient to you?
24th Jul 2021 6:08pm
Thank you very much, Lil, for your like and highly appreciated encouragement.
24th Jul 2021 6:15pm
24th Jul 2021 6:37pm
24th Jul 2021 6:51pm
24th Jul 2021 7:28pm
Thank you very much, very dear Tig, for your kind comment and encouragement.
