deepundergroundpoetry.com
Waltz With Me?
Lets dance until our feet bleed.
Forever twirling, around the room.
Dips and swings, into your arms,
Don't drop me, just kiss me.
Candles burn, and the fire starts
Keep dancing with me
We shall never stop.
The record player melts, but
we carry our own tune.
Around the room we go,
steps never falter.
Laughter and smiles
Effects dizzying
Over and over
as we dance burning
in each others arms,
Forever twirling, around the room.
Forever twirling, around the room.
Dips and swings, into your arms,
Don't drop me, just kiss me.
Candles burn, and the fire starts
Keep dancing with me
We shall never stop.
The record player melts, but
we carry our own tune.
Around the room we go,
steps never falter.
Laughter and smiles
Effects dizzying
Over and over
as we dance burning
in each others arms,
Forever twirling, around the room.
Published 21st Feb 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 719
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Jun 2012 2:46am
Katie
Rarely have I come across a poem
dripping with innocent romance
and burning pristine passion
such as this.
I can't put my finger really on
any particular stanza. I loved
it whole.
Love your wordplay, the choice of
words[verbs] and the control.
Marvelous read. If I can give anything
constructive it would be to remove the
caps and punctuation and make this poem
bare and potent. JMHO.
Write on,
Sumeet
Rarely have I come across a poem
dripping with innocent romance
and burning pristine passion
such as this.
I can't put my finger really on
any particular stanza. I loved
it whole.
Love your wordplay, the choice of
words[verbs] and the control.
Marvelous read. If I can give anything
constructive it would be to remove the
caps and punctuation and make this poem
bare and potent. JMHO.
Write on,
Sumeet
30th Jun 2012 2:54am
Thank you sooo much for your honesty. I'm very happy to know you loved it. Thank you again
