Hell Bent

Late night wonderings plague me
Stark silence with the drips of leftover rain
Crashing from the roof to my window unit hell
And the low hum of trucks on the distant interstate
Piercing through the veil of grief that settles over me
When I go home and close the door

The signs and wonders all speak in unison;
My path is clearer now than ever before.
Yet through the forest
The strange things call me to chase rabbits
And shadows through the brush.

Through the fields,
The grass bids me to lie down in it
As the rustling blades kiss my cheeks,
And the clouds all arrange themselves
In sporadic perfection,
As if the sky were knowingly smiling down.

The rain comes and I dance in it.
Walking alongside the road
With a manic smile that screams madness
And eyes dripping from the eyelashes
That resonate joy.

The fires rage and I stand still
While the flames lick my skin
And blister my soul.
I remain unmoved, even drawn to the agony
Until I become agony itself,
Screaming until my voice is gone.

I have been chaos
For longer than even I know.
I channel my rebellious spirit
Into rocking the boat for greater good
In the mundane, every day things.
Yet the call of things strange and terrifying
Echoes endlessly in my head
Reminding me of the times I wasn't numb,
When I could feel everything
With a passion
That only my sorrow knows
And my joy envies.