Suicidal Dream

I'm having a daydream.
Of a suicidal dream.
So tired of living.
This shell of a man,
This disgusting thing.
Still hating life ah fucking hell, fucking damn.
Everyday i awaken to face this cursed life.
No blessings sent my way, i just wanna die.
What is there worth waking up to?
All i see is disease and death, fuck you.
All the joy has been emptied from within.
Replaced with sorrow and the darkest sin.
The demon that lives within me is, Asmodeus.
The Demon of lust.
Twisting my mind, filling it full of wicked deeds.
Masturbating, into the dirt, i spill millions of my seeds.
If lust is all there is in life,
There isn't much to continue with life.
A migraine in my brain.
Head rockin' like mad, driving me insane.
Rope over the beam, around my neck.
It is what it seems, soon to be deceased, bet.
There are many a ways to complete the task at hand.
Don't really care about how, just as long as i can.
Drive 90 mph blindfolded on a dead stretch of road.
Like robin harris once quoted, "gotta go gotta go."
So here i fucking go.
Ride to die just so i can journey to the other side.
When death comes a callin' I'll be smilin', fuck no i ain't gonna cry.
I've spoken on my beloved pills lots of times before.
Take a bottle of aspirin and you can bet my fat ass will be laying on the floor.
Didn't mention a gun.
That's because i don't own a gun.
No creativity in using a gun.
Too quick, takes away all the fun.
But as i have thought of all this wicked shit.
I forgot to mention that i often dream of slitting my wrists.
Do it right the first time, traveling down the road not across.
Road cannot be repaired. Handle that shit like a real fuckin BOSS.
It's the same dream when i close my eyes.
My fat tub of shit ass reading my tombstone, here lies..............................................